how many times...

"Sometimes you have to leave some of your love and longing behind, you cannot carry it with you if you want to survive," said a pretty girl to me at the Minneapolis airport as I starred off into the distance and bit my lip. People always read my face, and for the good the bad or the ugly, I am somehow surprised when they do. Wandering through the Minneapolis airport I imagine I must look like one of the strangest lost souls. I cannot tell you how many times I have had this very experience. It feels like we're always saying goodbye. One would think that I would find a more proper way to prepare myself for this feeling. I would think that after so many moments like this I would have become in some way desensitized to this feeling. But time and time again it hugs and hangs on my rib cage when I leave. It will pass, it always does and to be honest I think this is the most calm and clear I have ever left that city. While I watch the snow and the city lights fade out through the small plane window I feel something close to hollow, and my brain replays moments and conversations that no one could have ever told me would take place. I hold my time at home in the highest of esteem and I will file this visit under the 'legendary' section in my life. So I wonder now how many times one person can say goodbye to things and people they love so much. At what point does it stop hurting and healing. How many more times will we be exactly where we are right now. ?