Homelessness

Funny because this month began with me playing around with the idea of home, and now as the month is coming to a close I am finding myself questioning the very idea once again, but in an entirely new way. Funny I don't think is the right word because I only find it funny at delusional and fleeting moments, I think ironic is a good word. What I would have called home at the start of this month has now been taken from me and I am more or less homeless. I have homes in the heart sort of sense, but my house that I cherished so dearly is no longer mine. The bank offered us three grand to leave by the end of the month, and being the starving artists that we are, we took the money. Apparently it is difficult to sell a property with two gypsies living inside of it. Who would have thought...? So everything that seemed to consume my days a week ago has now been set aside and I spend all day every day scouring the greater Newport Beach and Costa Mesa area looking for a new "home". We need a three bedroom. I went from being ridiculously picky to looking at places I would have never considered before. A three foot by three foot space does not constitute a third bedroom no matter how you slice it, and I swear someone was murdered on one of the properties like ten minutes before we got there it was so creepy. At times it feels hopeless and I worry I will never be as happy as I have been the last ten months in my apartment. Then at times I laugh at the way things turn out and the turns we take in life. I am glad I have my sisters to go through this with me, and I am so lucky that I have the greatest friends in the world who have offered me a place to stay come the first of next month. It's just so strange the way things change and all I can count on right now is that they will continue to surprise me. Everything that seemed to bother me last month is now so clearly trivial. I would pay you to give me my old problems back. It just goes to show that you can never have everything, and anyone who says that you can clearly hasn't stuck around long enough to see anything through. So for now we'll just let things roll. Cross your fingers for me and send us some positive vibes to lead us to the right place. I'll be the girl on the corner with a napsack slung over her shoulder. xoxo