Thursday, April 21, 2011


six solutions to seemingly simple situations (in my life.) that I solved today. really all today:

*My room is always, unfailingly, covered in clothes, namingly croptops, levi jean shorts, and spandex:
Solution: Go to Ross (which if you don't have to go there go somewhere else, it was my first and will be my last visit there, the place is a fuckfest of discount shit that although you may think you need, you really don't. I had to pee really bad so I blacked out most of the experience, but what I remember was terrifying.) Anyway, go to Ross and buy some hangers for like four dollars, and hang all that shit up you lazy freak!!

*I spend a lot of the day looking like a banshee because I wait to "get ready" until after I work out.
Solution: work out first thing in the morning that way you can shower and actually look presentable for the day. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out, but it did take me several years.

*Trouble falling asleep at night?
Solution: take up drinking whiskey and or scotch, and if you're really squirmy heat that shit up into a hot toddy. and if you don't know what a hot toddy is then use your imagination, or google because you are on a computer. (confession, I didn't figure that out today I have known that for a long time. works better than putting whiskey on the gums of a baby.)

*I daily change my dreams and objectives, jumping around from project to project.
Solution: I am aware that this is called ADD but I spent a good decade on pharmaceuticals and I am not going back, so my solution is to decide on doing everything. Find peace and strength in the fact that I can be a novelist, a song writer, a teacher, a traveler, and a journalist if I feel like it. Why do I have to choose?

*I hate my job, I find it menial and degrading.
Solution: stop hating it. Everything is what we decide for it to be, and if I want to be happy with serving tables than all I have to do is decide that I am happy. Stop painting such a negative hue on something that has really done so well for me. Serving tables has put me through college, it's going to put me through grad school, it introduced me to my bestfreind, and it has given me the money and freedom to travel the world. So whatever your shitty job is, just decide to like it, decide to get happy. And if you can't do that, if you can't find that sometimes faint silver lining in what you do every fucking day, then find a new job. The world wont end, just find a new one. simple.

*I live in the vein of writing, but don't find myself actually hitting the page as much as I would like:
Solution: I spend a lot of time "writing" but how much of that time is really spent with the pen on the page or my fingers on the keys? Not enough. I spend a lot of time dicking around online and finding all sorts of hilarious people and things to make fun of. I find any excuse possible to get up from the table. So this advice comes from my friend and mentor Ron Carlson, "Erin, stay in the room." I have decided today to stay, every time time I want to get up I am going to stay for another ten minutes. And we shall see what that will yield.

This may seem silly and this may seem stupid but the point is all those things that seem to creep up every day and bug you, or the things that fail constantly to get finished, they are all within your control. It may just be that fixing the simpler things in life will lead to a more creative and fluid process of everything else you want. Try it.

No comments: