January Summer

I’d like to say there’s nothing like it, but I know that’s a leap of faith I’m not willing to make. I’ve felt the sun like this before, but something about this lifetime of a month has made a difference. How much can you grow in only weeks? Apparently leaps and bounds every morning if you are willing to take the time with yourself. I have never known a time to be both so relaxing and so productive at once. My yin and yang finally working together instead of tearing me to opposite coasts. How can you be both here and there at all times? I don’t know yet, but I’ll send it in the mail when I figure it out. My mornings have been devoured by Patti Smith. I wake up early to spend time enthralled in the pages of her memoir Just Kids. I haven’t felt this way about a book in a long time. I haven’t felt this way about a lot of things in a long time. I can feel change in the air and instead of apprehension that normally wells within me I feel only peace. I suffer from bouts of doubt as far as my work goes, but what artist doesn’t? Learning how to keep writing when the clouds roll in takes time, but I think I have the weather patterns figured out right now. Maybe it’s in the stars or maybe it’s in your eyes but it feels like all is as it should be. I am covered in work and all I can see are deadlines, but I have never been happier. Even in moments I am sure I will drown I find truth in the silence under those waters. The blue outside my windows every morning has me thinking I must be the luckiest girl alive. I have only seen blue like that one other place before, and I hold both dear to my heart. For the rest of this day I will cherish what this month has given me... clarity, creativity, and calm.  

 Photograph taken by Jenavieve in the middle of January on the side of PCH. 

Peace, Love, and Scotch.

In Three's.

I wrote you a poem because there were things I never got to say. Not entirely sure what they were, but they were there once. or twice. I know they were there because I remember the way they looked in my mind and on my lips driving down the 405.

I watched the water instead of you because I was never one for these types of conversations. I stumbled over my words, something I never do. I guess that’s a testament to my nature towards you.

I wrote the poem on a Tuesday at work on a napkin and carried it in my pocket until letters faded and the napkin turned to a soft cloth. It was one of the only things I have never copied down, as if the words deserved to be lost. Another testament to us.

They say things happen in threes. 

Even This.

Vows

I have taken a vow of silence. My voice has decided to take leave of my body. Candace said, "it's gods was of telling you to shut up." Maybe she is right. I have been ill for four days but not to this extent. I still went to work all week and I still got up every day to spend time outside. Only now do I feel wounded. The high grade fever and hallucinations in my sleep have faded and all I am left with is my silence. I tried last night to carry on as if all was well but I think that led to the strain I now suffer. Complete silence. Maybe I will grow wise, or learn to speak with my eyes.

work it

I have been hard at work these last few weeks for my good friends over at LOCALE magazine. I have to say the stories I am working on right now are some of my favorite. I love the way the magazine has me trying new things, meeting people, and going places I have never been. Every day is an adventure and I have been so blessed with the weather this month in southern California. I mean, is it really 75 degrees and sunny right now? I love it!! Jenavieve and I are churning out some quality work and we cannot wait to share it with you in the next issue. In the mean time, in case you haven't headed over to check them out online I think right now is a perfect time to do so! Click here and get lost for a few...
http://localemagazine.com/v1/

a thought on times

It was all based on a fact that had little or nothing to do with what he spoke of. I didn't mind and I didn't correct him. I just waited for the sun to come up and throw me into the next day with no regard to his theories or pleas to remain in the evening. The only thing I was sure about in those times was time, the way it moved, but mostly the way it disappeared.

LA LA Laura

Shots from my time in LA at the start of this month...

Laura in Venice..

my ride

story of my life.

let the sunshine in

Laura and Dick in Venice

hiking.

view

magical.

I think this is soooo funnny.

Laura look at you!

This picture is priceless. had it been the only one i had taken I would have been happy. This hangs on my wall in my bedroom.

I do realize that the verbal content of this post is at the skill level of a child. Please forgive me I am normally quite articulate, but I think I am getting sick and I just had a hot toddy. 

peace, love, and scotch.

a trusim

We say Love but we mean Need. - Sage

Stet

Stet- latin for let it stand. Shown here enjoying the early morning fog at a park. He has a mysterious way of wandering into my thoughts.

Nancy

All you negative nancies out there that wont stop griping about the line up at Coachella this year, will you please shut up.? I don't know what you expect, and I don't see why you seem surprised about the big acts that supposedly indicate some sort of massive sellout on the parts of... someone I guess. Coachella is one of the most pretentious and commercialized music festivals in the history of music festivals. Love it for what it is, green grass, pretty people, and RayBan's as far as the eye can see. And if you don't like it, then don't come. Wait, I haven't even gotten to the part yet where I tell you how incredibly wrong I think you are, and that I could pee my pants over this line up. And, yes this is coming from the girl that posted a John Mayer music video a week or so ago. I will willingly support those that I secretly or not so secretly covet. I am also the first to admit that I know little to nothing about a lot, but I do know what I like when I hear it. I do also know that I will be dancing my face off to Duran Duran and Trampled by Turtles while the rest of you are sticking your noses in the air. I will also be beside myself while watching Lauryn Hill and Damian Marley. Did you not read the fine print? Were you so upset over the appearance of Kings of Leon that you stopped reading all together? Flogging Molly, Scissor Sisters, the Morning Benders, Mumford and Sons, and fucking Kanye. I don't care what you say, I love Kanye. If you don't love him, you clearly haven't watched his movie yet. In which case, go watch it and then come talk to me about him. All in all I hope you get over it and yourself, and come on out with big smiles and flowing hair. I'll see you there, I hope.

Charcoal Portrait

11811

1-18-11
My apartment smells like cigarettes and it is reminding me of you, but not in a way I would like to be reminded of anyone. Keeps coming through the windows even when they’re closed, just like you. Finding a way in when I was sure I had destroyed all access. Silly you, silly me for thinking there was a way to get away from you. I wear your memory like some haunted effigy on the side of an old building recently condemned. No sense in saving something bent on it’s own demise. No sense in saving much anything at all these days.

I cherish more than anything, more than I ever should… those waking moments between now and never. I dream about you when you’re away and I don’t want to be near you when you’re here. You are constantly elusive to my train of thought, and yet simultaneously all I think about. To be both the protector and the protected of my imagination is so much more than I would ever allow myself to ask of you, and yet here we are still. It’s like the creator put magnets in the both of us and no matter how far I throw you, I always find myself next to you again. Some cruel game of cat and mouse and I can’t see a way out, not that I would take it if there ever were. These times are unfair to all but at least in return I can hold onto your smile and your eyes and the way you look at me. I wish for once, just once you would say what you’re thinking instead of just leaving me in this deafening silence. All I can hear are my own thoughts and the rhythm of your breath when you fall asleep well before me. I don’t know what I want from you and more importantly I don’t know how to ask for it, and I am pretty sure; you have nothing to give anyway.

Dance Dance Dance

Happy Sunday. Dance Your Heart Out. I know I Have.

I LOVE

These Are Blogs and Projects that I LOVE, so you should LOVE them too... Click Title, Follow, Love, Enjoy!

IT'S PERSONAL

Fashion Guru and Designer living in Minneapolis Minnesota, Megan Jorgenson is my go to inspiration when it comes to getting dressed. Her posts flow with her mood, season, and daily projects. You will never be bored with this gem. 

MOONCATS
Updated more often than your facebook status MOONCATS is an endless wonder of all things awesome. Created by Zac Marben an eclectic artist, musician, travler, snowboarder, and motorcycle enthusiast.  It's an interesting glimpse into the imagination of a very interesting man.

BUDO BEATS
Brooklyn based producer, musician, and performer BUDO allows the public in on his endless journey through this blog. Follow him every step of the way while he makes records, travels the world, and wonders a lot about everything else. This kid is truly a talent and anytime new work is released, I highly sugest picking it up here.

Don't Hurt Your Mind
Best Blog to read with a cup of tea because unlike most, you will actually be reading. Sage Hagan, a talented writer, world travler, and honestly jack of all trades from Albuquerque New Mexico is in my opinion the closest thing our generation has to Jack Kerouac. With little or no regard to convention his poetry investigates the very roots of being human. At times painfully honest this blog will have you starring into parts of yourself that you may never have wanted to look at.

Locale

I am so proud of this issue of Locale that contains three of my pieces. This is my favorite. Go under my publications to follow a link to their online magazine to check everything out. I will be posting the other pieces as soon as they are made available online :) Thank you for your support and thank you Locale!!

Lost It.

I feel so Fucking Lost.

Who Says

Don't judge me because this is John Mayer, I happen to love him. This song makes me happy.

Tinkers

Your cold mornings are filled with the heartache about the fact that although we are not at ease in this world, it is all we have, that it is ours but it is full of strife, so that all we can call our own is strife; but even that is better than nothing at all isn't it? And as you split frost-laced wood with numb hands, rejoice that your uncertainty is God's will and His grace toward you and that that is beautiful, and part of a greater certainty, as your own father always said in his sermons and to you at home. And as the axe bites into the wood, be comforted in the fact that the ache in your heart and the confusion in your soul means that you are still alive, still human, and still open to the beauty of the world, even though you have done nothing to deserve it. And when you resent the ache in your heart, remember: You will be dead and buried soon enough.

My favorite passage from Tinkers written by the talented Paul Harding. Go find yourself a copy. Now.

I'll see you When I see You.

 

   The first time I saw him it was a Monday in January and he was sitting beside the pool at the Travellodge off sunset with a black and white book in his hand and his face in the sky with a broad smile every time the sun came through the clouds. He was wearing this soft blue shirt that made him seem pretty and approachable. I watched him for awhile before climbing over the low metal fence. He seemed to be thinking a lot or on someone there was a lot to be thought about because he didn't notice I was there. When he did finally notice he looked over his shoulder and squinted into the sunlight but smiled at me. It was so natural, as if he had been expecting me. I was plugged right into the conversation he was already having with himself.
    "Have you ever noticed that when you watch someone leave you can feel whether or not it is going to be the last time you see them."
    "I don't see how you could know that," I said.
    "Then you've never seen someone leave like that."
    He looked down at his book like he had forgotten he was reading it, or even holding it. I tried to imagine his whole life and whomever it was he had just said goodbye to and why of all the places in the world he was sitting at the pool at the Travelodge. The motel still had their colored Christmas light up around the awning of the rooms, I couldn't decide if it was adding or detracting to the decour of the establishment and the feel of the evening or even this conversation. Made me feel we were in a different time and place entirely lightyears or just years away from east hollywood. If it's possible to look both defeated and hopeful at the same time, he did.

Black and White but fun all over.

 Ricky Tucker and Laura on the beach in Venice in the middle of an incredibly interesting week spent in east and west hollywood. I wish they turned out better, but I think there will be more on the next roll..

 Laura in Venice on a lovely of all lovely days. Of many many things that I learned in this time space was that everything is just going to happen. I will now adopt the No Plan Plan. 

 Poppin bottles to ring in the New Year. 

 Andrea and Alfie on New YEARS. I LOVE THIS ONE. 

The cover of Kevins solo album self titled Look Both Ways. 

not seriously, but doesn't it look like it?

 Mamma and Danielle on Christmas

I love that Jenna and Belladonna are making the same face

 My Christmas presents 

 Candace this is you drinking a can of Budweiser in Oh Those Doughnuts

 Semi Sweet at La Cave

 All the pretty people playing music in my ears..

Derek :)

Heather on Keyes and Kim on accordion 

Missletoe Mondays

nothing goes better with a velvet dress than fur cuffs

hi ladies. 

Jenna loves you. 

When things start to happen, don't worry don't stew. Just go right along you'll start happening too. 

Oh the Places You'll go - Dr. Seuss