The Little Blacque Blog

Saturday Afternoons

2012-01-28T14:18:00.000-08:00

S.O.S

2012-01-27T18:19:00.000-08:00

Someone once told me that, "most people just want to be rescued from themselves."
Is this true?
Are we waiting for something outside ourselves?
Are you?
To be changed and airlifted from yourself to another place and time entirely...
strange thought.

avoid

2012-01-27T11:23:00.000-08:00

to avoid. to keep away or to stop oneself from doing. to contrive not to meet.

evade
shun
eschew
dodge
elude
shrink
escape

truth from Seuss

2012-01-27T11:02:00.000-08:00

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

my mind

2012-01-25T21:59:00.001-08:00

I keep my head in the clouds so I don't have to rest my feet on the ground

my boys!!!

2012-01-25T10:16:00.000-08:00

Isn't it nice to find out someone is listening. Hello Evening got a rather rad review from the fine folks at The Wild Honey Pie drawing comparisons to the man Springsteen. Go Boys!!!

Somebody That I Used to Know

2012-01-23T22:47:00.000-08:00

this is my song for you

the art of thought...

2012-01-23T15:54:00.000-08:00

I had a friend tell me recently over a phone call cup of coffee that she was trying to “find where she belongs” and it spun me down a rather strange path. Find where we belong? “What an interesting notion,” I told her. “If you found where you belong you would know when you found it? Would you feel a sense of accomplishment like climbing a mountain? Is it more like finishing a painting, you don’t know why but suddenly you are struck with the notion that yes, done, this is finished! I have arrived where I belong.” The word itself has a variety of definitions: to be proper, to be in an appropriate environment, to have in ones possession, to be a part of something else. It seems to me that the only true definition comes from understanding all the definitions of the word, are they not all speaking to each other? What then? How does one know if and when they truly belong? So I ask all of you, the most interesting people I know, the bright, and the curious, the traveled and the tired, how do you belong?

I have begun an experiment or an exercise if you will. I think we all have some incredibly interesting things to say but become so caught up in our lives and the next thing we have to do that often times nothing gets said anymore. Sometimes we have to ask the right questions. This is the first one. I asked a random selection of people, mostly to see who will participate, and even more so to see what people have to say when you actually ask them something worth thinking about. My aim is to get us thinking and speaking again and in a selfish way to generate more ideas within myself. This constant dialogue I have could be so lovely if some of you would join in. So if you weren't asked or I don't personally know you yet please take this as an invitation to answer. Send all thoughts to belair.erin@gmail.com.

sight

2012-01-23T13:50:00.000-08:00

was it foresight? or an afterthought? or perhaps hindsight?

Cassandra

2012-01-23T12:29:00.000-08:00

today.

2012-01-20T16:10:00.001-08:00

Something's Got A Hold On Me

2012-01-20T16:02:00.000-08:00

I spent the entire day as I am sure many of you did listening to Etta James. What an incredible woman. Love you always.

300,000

2012-01-20T15:59:00.000-08:00

An estimated 300,000 people die every day.
So whatever it is, it's not that bad.

Unless you're dying. In which case, I'm sorry.

a note on Love.

2012-01-18T14:41:00.000-08:00

I want someone to love me so hard I could only love them back

I want someone to love me for more than the reasons that they have

I want love that moves the earth and forces time to close and still

I want love that changes daily and love that press on my will

I want someone to love me and to look me in the eye

so that when they say they love me I know it’s not a lie

I want love that doesn’t care for the distance that we make

while we are traveling this great big world out looking for our breaks

I want love that tells me honestly where he spent the night before

and love it isn’t love if you’re always out looking for some more.  

I want love that people sing about, the kind you see up on the screen

the kind they say is make believe and lives only in your dreams

I want someone to love me as if there is no way it could ever last

so that they hold onto to me carefully as we watch the moments pass

I want love that doesn’t care for the rules of who we’ve always been

and I want love that doesn’t ruin me, love that never wears too thin

I want someone to love me not just because we always leave

and I want someone just to love me because it lets us both be free 

I want love that strikes me on the spot and changes who I was

I want love that doesn’t make any sense

I want someone to love me just because

A Change Is Gonna Come

2012-01-18T13:32:00.000-08:00

Theme song for Today.

tumbled

2012-01-17T16:27:00.000-08:00

I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. Honestly, they don’t teach you anything important.
— Neil Gaiman (via hard-kids)

I have never been one for tumblr... but I found one love... if I looked like a tumblr I think this one would be it... some love for You Are My Sunshine

you were saying?

2012-01-17T16:10:00.000-08:00

She was saying all these long scenes and describing where she lost it but failed to tell us truly what she had lost. She was running with her eyes and smiling with her teeth, they were broken and knocked out in places where her ideas used to be. I wasn't afraid of being near her more afraid of being like her. I could see resemblances in us, in the way she moved and the words she chose to use. It had been a long day and I had been walking for what felt like forever. I had taken to walking recently because it was the only thing that made me feel like I was doing something about things there was nothing to be done about. It was as if the very ground passing beneath my feet marked the passing of time itself. Like I could look and say, "that is behind me and this is now in front of me." Everything had taken on a liquid quality and the most important and solid things in my life had suddenly begun to slip through my fingers and the tighter I held on the quicker they slipped. Then I was just left with all these fillers and mistakes and they clung to me with steel like talons. It had become easy to hold onto only the things I wanted to let go of. So there she was in front of me articulating all these fears I had kept rolled up in the cuffs of my shirt. I had come to think I dropped them and that she had picked them up, followed me for blocks, and then reread everything back to me. I had grown tired of trying to solve things for her, grown tired of telling her to retrace her steps. I was sure that whatever she had misplaced would find her soon enough again.

Over and Over

2012-01-16T16:03:00.000-08:00

FREE Album

We Love You.
Filmed in the fine city of Costa Mesa for Milk Route Records. Made by Jenaveive and Erin Rose Belair for Cherokee Fade.

Time Spent in Los Angeles

2012-01-15T16:01:00.000-08:00

makes me think about someone I knew well and how all the time in the world doesn't change the past. makes me think of how we change each other. makes me happy for you.

off again..

2012-01-15T15:40:00.000-08:00

The time has come and the other side of the world is calling my name. After years and years of waiting of Nisan to marry Marcelle so we could all travel to his native land of Sri Lanka, we're going. We Leave April 1st and don't return home until the end of the month. Two weeks of planned travel and celebrations on the island before spending another long and peaceful week on the Maldives Islands. During this time we will be doing our best to flex our skills at travel writing. So come and tune in during my travels for some remarkable moments and I'm going to do my best to keep ya'll updated. On the off chance that I don't return, at least you will know where I went to spend the rest of my days...

uh, pretty much just in the middle of the ocean...

know.

2012-01-13T15:38:00.000-08:00

blows in like a bad cold day and stays for far too long. no reach is too far for these thoughts. I can read energy like a richter scale. Not by choice. it just tunes into me and suddenly know how you feel and that you're gone. comes to me from nowhere and leaves just as quickly but I know. I know things could have gone on just fine without knowing. and you ask me how I know, but you would never believe me. why no one seems to tell me the truth is no fault of my own. I already know.

Bet My Life

2012-01-11T22:54:00.000-08:00

Tuesday January 10th, Kings Inn, Memphis Cafe in Costa Mesa California. Cherokee Fade loves you.

don't move me

2012-01-10T09:03:00.000-08:00

it's a sleep so heavy and a pause so great you cannot shake me from this spot. the entire world has stopped as far as I care. please don't try to convince me otherwise. don't try and lead me your way by golden promises and finely knit truths in hand. don't try to take me backward, those places have been bombed and torn pieces. all I can trust in is the moment I wake up, the feeling in my gut that tells me how I think before the world comes in to influence me. it only lasts a brief fleeting second but I read it quickly and then hold onto it for the rest of the day. if I am angry, let me be angry. if I am forgiving then graciously take my forgiveness. and if I wish the world to stay still for another day, a week, a month, a year then please don't try and spin it. not if you want in.

by the seashore

2012-01-09T10:06:00.000-08:00

I found a pile of old and thinning sea shells in a small wooden box in my bedroom when I was throwing away everything I could touch. Their delicate nature, some cracked and ruined lay next to a razor blade, a broken old bracelet, and the single word "and" that I had cut from a book. The collection and the box itself had gone unnoticed and untouched for how long I'm not sure. It just disappeared amongst all my belongings and mementos from around the world. Something about the simplicity and the pain that this box seemed to represent forced me to close it and place it back on the shelf as one of the very few things I would keep. I had never intentionally placed these things together, they had come to this box by chance and stayed for years on end. They had come to be a part of how I feel and what I am sure I would look like could you pull me off the shelf and take the lid off. Sea shells like dreams often crack under the pressure and surprise of life and yet we still hold onto the broken ones right next to the ones that are still beautiful and whole. Sometimes we hold onto them tighter thinking that our sheer will power will somehow press them back together. But I have come to believe that once things are broken there is no coming back from the dead. A razor blade for it's useful nature and tenacity and yet t reminds me that I have always been the type of person to cause my own problems, inflict my own pain. A broken bracelet for those people we have been because they always still live within us. And a single word, "and" because there is always more to say and more to do and until my dying day I will never be finished. So there I sit on the third shelf next to a photograph of an old friend who passed away over seas...

sunday lover

2012-01-08T12:09:00.000-08:00

just acting like a lover for Jenavieve Photography

vanity, vices, and virtues

2012-01-08T11:59:00.000-08:00

We wont always be this pretty.
This wont always hurt so much.
I have seen better days, but have they seen me?
I told a good friend over a long distance call as the space crackled between us that the only choice she had was to pick her self up, had I called myself?
It's easy to point and blame when your the one on the ground.
At least the days seem longer, like they listened to my pleas to slow down.
Why now, I'm not sure.
And we're all still here and still healthy and still alive and still pretty.

I am...

2012-01-07T21:39:00.000-08:00

The Hanged Man.
The Story...
The Fool settles beneath a tree, intent on finding his spiritual self. There he stays for nine days, without eating, barely moving. People pass by him, animals, clouds, the wind, the rain, the stars, sun and moon. On the ninth day, with no conscious thought of why, he climbs the tree and dangles from a branch upside down like a child. For a moment, he surrenders all that he is, wants, knows or cares about. Coins fall from his pockets and as he gazes down on them - seeing them not as money but only as round bits of metal.
It seems to him that his perspective of the world has completely changed, as if his inverted position has allowed him to dangle between the mundane world and the spiritual world, able to see both. It is a dazzling moment, dreamlike yet crystal clear.
Timeless as this moment of clarity seems, he realizes that it will not last. Very soon, he must right himself, but when he does, things will be different. He will have to act on what he's learned. For now, however, he just hangs, weightless as if underwater, observing, absorbing, seeing.

The Lesson..
What is important to remember is that this is a card about suspension, not life or death. The querent might well feel that one thing has ended, yet the next has not begun, and they are stuck in a kind of waiting room. Things will continue on in a moment, but for now, they float, timeless.
Yet this isn't just a position of rest as the querent is inverted. Which means so is his/her view of the world is very different from the rest of us who walk upright. Thus, this waiting becomes a time of trial or meditation, selflessness, sacrifice, prophecy. This new way of seeing things often leads to insights and enlightenment. Answers that eluded the querent become clear, solutions to problems are found. All of which the Hanged Man hoped to buy with his sacrifice.

It is a time when you change your perspective.

Such moments don't last, and they usually require some kind of sacrifice. Sacrifice of a belief or a wish, dream, hope, money, time or even selfhood. The sacrifice may be made to get into the inverted position, or it may be made to get out of the inverted position. Either way, in order to gain, you must give. Great or small, spiritual or mundane what you gain from making that sacrifice and allowing yourself to see things differently is insights and solutions. These can help you and everyone else you care about. Which is often why one goes through it all in the first place. One thing is certain, once you have been the Hanged Man you never see things quite as you did before.

Oh! The Places You'll Go

2012-01-07T00:21:00.000-08:00

The lesson never grows tired...

dreams

2012-01-06T10:48:00.000-08:00

I dream things and then they happen, all the time. Then you tell me that I'm crazy but you find that I am right. And you can't believe I left your side for things that happen in the night.
But it doesn't matter who I love if he lives here or far away, there is no rewriting the things we've done, we must simply find a way to change.
I bet you feel guilty, your shadow shows you hang your head, and you told me a life of living like this is like living with the dead. But the dead don't have your fingertips and they don't run them down my back, they don't hold me underwater, they don't leave broken beaten tracks, to the places where they go or the days that they have seen and I saw it in my dreams, but you just couldn't believe.

newbie

2012-01-05T15:32:00.000-08:00

the opening paragraph of one of seven short stories from my next book... enjoy.

I was existing under a plate of glass, those butterflies on display in an old museum pinned down at the wings and one through their sternum. The sheets needed to be washed. I was watching the way they wrinkled when I moved. Those were the big moments, from one side to another. I could see the cheap sewing, the low thread count of the washed out yellow, they were soft once I’m sure.

Dry your eyes

2012-01-05T15:08:00.000-08:00

a special pain

2012-01-05T15:00:00.000-08:00

Why is it that we always manage to hurt and mangle those that we love more than anything else? Why is it they suffer the brunt of our stupidity? The greatest mistakes of our lives are often the downfall of great friends and great love. There is often no return from these places, no road leading back to a place you wish you had again. New roads must be built, roads that hopefully take us far away from where we find ourselves today, roads we cannot yet conceive. Why is it that we only wonder what we have done and take a close look at where we are, who we are, when bad things happen? Why are we all inherently so bad? I have always believed in the good of people, always found faith, but when there are no reserves left to draw from what is one supposed to believe in?

barre what?!

2012-01-04T16:02:00.000-08:00

Don't act like you aren't aware that of that swimsuit in the back of your drawer. Don't act like there aren't still chocolate bars in your freezer. Admit it, your jeans are tight and the suns coming out and you aren't ready. A massive part of living down here near Mexico outside of the fine city of Los Angeles is spending a good chunk of the year half naked. So it's time to start lacing up those sneakers and time to get your downward doggie on, workout season has officially arrived. To kick off the new year and countdown to bikini time I signed up for ten classes at Cardio Barre in Costa Mesa off 17th street and Tustin. 10:30 a.m beginners class, there I am stretching out my tight quads and laying down my Hello Kitty towel. I had no idea what I was in for. This class will kick your ass, literally. Ten minutes in and I was begging and praying to some workout god I've never known before. But then something funny happened, I started sweating and I started having fun. Once I got over the initial fear of what was going to happen next or how plies I was going to have to do, I was killin it. The moves were easier than I had expected and for someone with no rhythm I had nailed them nearly from the start. Don't get me wrong this shit was hard but I was jumping and pumping with the best of them. I'm going back for all ten classes in the month of Janurary and taking this photograph below as a serious challenge. I'll show you, my ass is going to be lookin just like this. Ba BAM!!

defibrillator affect

2012-01-03T14:49:00.000-08:00

the new book will be based around the running ideas of a few things other than you... like...

open windows... and...

Old motels and parking lots... and...

Winter.

Victory

2012-01-03T13:52:00.000-08:00

so in love with this video...
the making of videos.
commencing now.

shine on

2012-01-03T11:38:00.000-08:00

I am feeling like a very luck girl today.
Samantha Huddleston, photographer, has used my song Red Book
on her beautiful website.

I hope your day is as lovely as ours.
We Love You.
xoxo,
Cherokee Fade

Yoga Girl

2012-01-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

Yes, so on point!

new year inentions

2012-01-02T11:11:00.000-08:00

check back in six months and see how well I fare on these intentions of mine...

-write everyday no matter what
-write a new book
-publish said book
-write another album, record, play, and repeat
-travel to Sri Lanka
-travel
-play music in Mpls.
-be good or just be better
-quit serving tables
-practice yoga

I think that will do. Yes, I think that makes me happy.
viva la 2012.

New Years Eve

2011-12-29T18:31:00.000-08:00

I want to be her.

submit

2011-12-29T12:25:00.000-08:00

submitting everything to everyone in hopes that somewhere something sticks. sending it all out with a hope and wish that somewhere someone is affected, that someone sees more, that someone has felt the way we have felt. I think the most we could ever hope for is to be more than we are right now. I keep sending things out into the universe but I'm pretty sure you aren't hearing me.

advice

2011-12-29T12:14:00.001-08:00

"Sometimes when you Love someone, the best thing to say is nothing." -a dear friend.

Copper Door

2011-12-29T12:00:00.000-08:00

Come Join us, Cherokee Fade, tonight at the Copper Door in Santa Ana. We play at 9. We Love you.

you're a fine girl

2011-12-28T22:42:00.000-08:00

the first inspiration for content of cherokee fades next album.

pretty people keep pretty company

2011-12-27T19:52:00.000-08:00

Miss Jenna Rae

Miss Shelly Cush

Miss Megan

Miss Walter

faith

2011-12-27T10:02:00.000-08:00

He kept on telling me it had something to do with faith. Like I could buy it half off, discount, bargain store style. I was tearing out the thread at the cuff of my sweater because every word from his mouth made me nervous. I had a feeling it was more than this or less. I couldn't be quite sure what direction the current was headed. I was wondering where people found the ease, how their step seemed longer and their handwriting slower. I was ashamed I had missed the lesson, felt it was too late to learn how not to worry about everything and everyone. He was still telling me to find faith. But I assured him there wasn't a place I hadn't looked, no stone gone unturned. The sixty three years spanning between us spread themselves out. He looked at me like a child, like I hadn't put in enough time to really know the difference. He told me I would know, told me I would know when it found me.

you've done it again

2011-12-23T15:49:00.000-08:00

Paul Harding, you have done it again. How you manage to keep me, change me, and convince me of the wonders of words with the same piece of work after all these years is something truly special.

"I could feel his sudden surprise, his bafflement, the dismay felt in a dream when you suddenly meet the brother you forgot you had or remember the infant you left on the hillside miles away, hours ago, because somehow you were distracted and somehow you came to believe in a different life and your shock at these terrible recollections, these sudden reunions, comes as much from your sorrow at what you have neglected as it does from dismay at how thoroughly and quickly you came to believe in something else. And that other world that you first dreamed is always better if not real, because in it you have not jilted your lover, forsaken your child, turned your back on your brother."
- Paul Harding, Tinkers

#writenow

2011-12-22T12:07:00.001-08:00

She told me was all about what wasn’t in the photograph, to look beyond the 4 by 6 borders. What had they chosen to leave out, what had been forgotten or cast aside, what simply didn’t fit the moment? That’s where your story lies. Your story is the secrets brewing on the edges, spilling over and out of the frame. The story is in the things you didn’t say. It was like she was speaking directly to me. As if time and space had parted and some way when she penned these words however long ago they were meant to find their way through the universe and sit in my lap on a Wednesday night after the early shift. How had I spent so long beating around the obvious fact that I wasn’t writing. I was. I just wasn’t writing enough. Not writing to survive, just writing enough to get by, writing enough to still feel like I was a writer. I had lost something or someone and all the spark was sucked out of my words so I let them fall away. I thought I had to wait for the wind to change or the moon to move me, but really, all I have to do is write again.

Hello Evening

2011-12-21T12:18:00.000-08:00

Hello Evening Free Album

Over here at Milk Route Records we've been feeling like giving this season. So here's another album from our camp FOR FREE!!! Simply click above and download. Created by the talented Nisan Perera and his dynamic other half Kevin Yoches this record was crafted and recorded over a ten day stint at Milk Route Records last June. It is our great hope that you will then share this lovely piece of work with those that you love and cherish. Happy Holidays from our camp to yours xoxo!!

Over the hill and through the woods

2011-12-20T11:13:00.000-08:00

On a journey up the coast to play in the Red Vic theater before it's forever remodeled led us then into the woods and and we happened upon the next greatest spot ever... Fernwood. Follow here...

Tita. Thanks.

Few things in life compare to the joy of a man and his pupusa.

Buttonwillow. Haven't been? You should go.

yes OJ we all love you fur coat.

the lovelies at the Red Vic Theater.

some genius

OJ and Man.

my life is complete. this is my singing Carolina with Nisan in front of a huge burning yule log. I'll never say I didn't do anything with my life.

bff.

our lovely cabin site.

Sometimes it's good for you to feel so so small.

We're going to play here.

on the edge of today you can see the shadow of tomorrow.

The thrill Seekers.

The Comrades.

The historian.

something like a prayer.

2011-12-19T11:12:00.001-08:00

we just live for living answers and forget the questions to the truth

we pretend like we deserve this and just assume the sky is blue

but sometimes these times they come along to remind us we’re alive

and ask us to live our life before its time to die

not everything is fair sometimes the best never find their luck

and sometimes the hand we deal is a hand that’s far from trust

you cant believe in anything if you don’t know that your alive

and why do we wait for tragedy to see who is on our side?

why cant we count our blessings on the days the sun does shine?

why do we forget how much we love those ones right before our eyes

because today is not forever and yesterday is gone

and it will never be the same

and you cant remember to hold on

to time that’s always moving and luck that seems to run

if I could tell you just one thing:

I love you more than the sun.

SF bound

2011-12-08T23:31:00.000-08:00

Heading up to San Francisco for the weekend to play a show with some very dear friends. Come one come all, music, merriment, and more love than we could handle so come and share!!

Repeal.

2011-12-05T17:08:00.000-08:00

Today in 1933 Prohibition was officially repealed in the United States.

Go get yourself a nice glass of something you love.

Take a moment and enjoy.

And while you're at it go here: http://snakebitdrifters.bandcamp.com/

and download these free songs

my favorite is 5 minutes 4 my whiskey.

Saturday :)

2011-12-02T11:40:00.000-08:00

Thank you Wahoo's for having us this Saturday at Fashion Island. I love tacos. I love music.

Scout.

2011-12-01T23:24:00.001-08:00

From Evernote:

Scout.

Spending a day in the LBC scouting for a video shoot for Cherokee Fade, Turnin Around. Should be a super fine time... Stay tunes. We love you

bye

2011-11-30T11:23:00.000-08:00

bye November. see you next year.
you don't feel any different than October and I hope you don't mind me saying but you were nothing special.

I shouldn't blame you.
It's my fault really.
Always has been.
Always will be.

Haircut Mondays

2011-11-28T16:31:00.001-08:00

From Evernote:

Haircut Mondays

Did you ever wonder whaty afternoon looks like? Didn't think so. I'll show you anyway.

Want

2011-11-28T13:23:00.001-08:00

Tester

From Evernote:

Want

give thanks

2011-11-23T10:30:00.001-08:00

I am aware that Thanksgiving comes tomorrow, but I will be up to my elbows in pies and stuffing making. So I wanted to take a moment and count my blessings before had so as not to forget just how lucky I really am.

I am thankful for my family I love you, for my cat and my tea, for my job, and my friends, for my health and my looks, for my teeth and for my new j brand bell bottoms, for my house and my art, for my education and my music, for today and yesterday, for smoked salmon and capers, for early morning runs and afternoon hikes, for the beach and waves, for smiles and pianos, for the sunshine and the rain, for my life in Minnesota, for all the mistakes I made. I am thankful for second changes and reasons for change, for friends far away, and for everything I haven't had yet.

Thank you.

a gem

2011-11-22T12:48:00.001-08:00

came across a gem on the internet today. I am in no way surprised, however I am impressed. I alwasy knew she was brilliant. Stop by http://theorangeglass.blogspot.com/ and check out the marvels of Felicidad De Lucas....

This photo of Me and Kevin was taken by Feli at our good friend Alrik Yuill's warehouse in Costa Mesa....

My very personal favorite of her work is this video she shot and edited here in Newport Beach: Eerie Love :)

Eerie Love from felicidad de lucas on Vimeo.

Maybe if I'm lucky, she'll make my next music video. Love.

lucky

2011-11-21T22:55:00.001-08:00

It's been madness but I feel a great sense of pride for where I stand today. I don't know what else we can ask for as humans. To feel proud of ones own existence and place in this world is something that I didn't even know I was missing until I found it. I feel lucky, but I don't think this was luck. This is a product of hard work and hard decisions and commitment making. After August took the wind out of me I decided I was going to be a better version of myself. So I started to do all these things I kept saying I wanted to do, all these things that scared the shit out of me. I had to be that person I kept waiting for. A wise man told me that if I just put my head down and moved my feet that when I picked it up the people that should be there will be. He was right. Those people, the ones that stick it out with you through the crazy, they will still be there. I think that makes me lucky.

this time

2011-11-15T10:04:00.001-08:00

Should we assume it's still unsteady. Do you take head around every turn? Have you found yourself a new place to sleep. Silent and unassuming. Mornings are aching and yet moving at an unprecedented rate, around the world before noon. I spend my time sipping hours and the evenings serving whiskey. This time around I know is the last time. The last fall. The last Christmas. Things will irrevocably change. And for that, I am in love with right now.

'song for them' by Nisan Perera

2011-11-14T23:22:00.000-08:00

Ghost Town

2011-11-08T11:00:00.000-08:00

These girls rocked my world last night.

Cherokee Fade

2011-11-05T16:50:00.000-07:00

A “Cherokee Fade,” is when for whatever reason or vice you may have, you take leave of your current situation or place without informing anyone of your decision or whereabouts.

Kevin and I made a band. Or I guess this time around, the band made Kevin and I again. So cliche. And yet, sometimes it takes external forces to drive us in the right directions. I never would have guessed. So, I guess you were right, it is good to be surprised. Even in these times I still need the truth. Some things never change.

We want to share our stories with you. Our record is almost done. We wrote it over the summer, digging the truth out of each other with pick axes and blowtorches. The truth will set you free and for everyone we have loved along the way, thank you, you are a part of this too.

I guess the record will tell you more than I ever could.
Please take a listen, We Love You.

Miss Romero

2011-11-01T12:41:00.000-07:00

This is me wishing the very lovely Miss Romero a happy birdy chrippin sun shining birthday!! My dear you are twenty five, what a damn fine age. I would know, I have been twenty five for a month or so myself. I know I told you at dinner how much you really mean to me but lets tell everyone else too. Let's share the love. So here it is...

LOVE YOU!! You are the bestest of friends that any crazy person such as myself could ever wish for. Thank you for putting up with me, for drinking with me, for seeing the world with me, for dancing with me, and working with me, and eating with me!! Thank you for being you, for being the sunshine in my often dark mind and for knowing, even when I don't, what is right for me. The past five years would be not be what they have been without the addition of you into our lives. I have no doubt that the next five will bring you exactly what you need. You have all the world to wish for and deserve the very best.

So I decided to include a picture of you at your very best below. In case you aren't aware, this is you in New York, walking back to our haunted hotel with an entire pizza which we then consumed. You're welcome. Love you!

Why Do Fools Fall in Love

2011-10-31T23:44:00.000-07:00

1825 days. Give or take a day or two.

the happiest place on earth?

2011-10-28T12:15:00.000-07:00

I will be the judge of that today.

spooky

2011-10-27T13:19:00.000-07:00

Before we go launching into this weekend of complete mayhem and foolish goulishness, I want to take a moment to remind everyone what Halloween is really about. Contrary to most peoples belief here in California it is not just an excuse to go out and party in outfits that in my opinion should be saved for the bedroom, or the kitchen, or the hotel, or wherever it is you get down. So the story goes... Halloween began over 2000 years ago with the Celtics. It was            held to honor the Samhain the so called "lord of death".            It was a Druidical belief that on the eve of this festival Samhain,            lord of death, called together the wicked spirits that within the            past 12 months had been condemned to inhabit the bodies of animals.            

It was a pagan            belief that on one night of the year the souls of the dead return to            their original homes, there to be entertained with food. If food and            shelter were not provided, these evil spirits would cast spells and            cause havoc toward those failing to fulfill their requests.

So there you have it friends. Don't forget it. 

Peddle Promises

2011-10-25T11:33:00.000-07:00

A bit of a clearer rendition from our show at Alta Coffee on Saturday via the lovely Jen.

first timers

2011-10-25T10:58:00.000-07:00

Kevin Elliott and I are Cherokee Fade, our love child. We played our first nonlivingroom performance at Alta Coffee shop this past Saturday night with our dear friend Jordan Buckelew. This song Over and Over is one of the first that we wrote, far before we ever thought there would be a record. In the midst of a lot of secrets and some soon to be hard times we found ourselves saying things through music that neither of us would have ever had the balls to say otherwise. If you listen to the song, this is one of those. I'll tell ya'll the story soon enough, but for now, stay tuned. Our record is in the final stages of mixing and we are damn proud of it.

love nat

2011-10-21T09:46:00.001-07:00

My dear friend Natalie found this, and appropriately sent it my way.

and now

2011-10-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

I felt it pass like a meteor destined to crash with earth missing only by a few million miles. I felt the tension, the slack pull from the rope, the one the keeping me tethered, keeping me in place. For a strained moment, a tight pass, a questionable evening, and now I feel at peace. I feel the walls around me sigh heavily on their own relief. I feel myself stand taller and stop looking looking around to over my left shoulder. I feel my heart beat fainted and the world a little quieter. But if that's a trade I have to make to quiet my thoughts and slow my run, then so be it.

Cover Art

2011-10-20T17:32:00.000-07:00

This is the cover to our album... It should be anyway.

?

2011-10-20T17:30:00.001-07:00

amortentia

2011-10-19T11:07:00.000-07:00

She drank a vile of amortentia. Fell further in love than she had ever imagined possible. The most powerful of all love potions poisoned her from the inside out. It left her mad and half happy most of the time. She left home in search of Nepenthe, the root of forgetfulness in hopes that in blind absence she could find peace again.

:)

2011-10-19T10:59:00.000-07:00

paris waits for you

2011-10-18T22:20:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon this and it makes me feel more than anything other than actually being there, it makes me feel like my time in Paris. The wet cold and rainy streets on one long morning.

rough

2011-10-18T22:12:00.001-07:00

LOVE'S SECRET
by: William Blake (1757-1827)

EVER seek to tell thy love,
Love that never told can be;
For the gentle wind doth move
Silently, invisibly.

I told my love, I told my love,
I told her all my heart,
Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears.
Ah! she did depart!

Soon after she was gone from me,
A traveller came by,
Silently, invisibly:
He took her with a sigh.

reeling.

2011-10-18T11:50:00.000-07:00

I came across a piece of paper that was dated a year ago today. It was stuck in the pages of a book you gave me about stars and their distance. Made me think it had something to do with us, something I didn't see back when. Made me start to think about all the things that take place in short spans of time. It made me think about how some times are demarcated clearly with events or words or goodbyes. It made me think about how things start and those early choices I had made. Made me think I was bad. You always told me I wasn't crazy when the rest of the world was laughing mad. It's hard to believe how fast a year can go and far we can go. Reeling back in has been hard...

LANA DEL REY-VIDEO GAMES

2011-10-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

a friend sent this to me. I am obsessed.

a pint

2011-10-17T11:38:00.000-07:00

They said you're making dreams
said your drawing out the times
but you just fiddle with the idle hours
and spend the good ones writing rhymes.
Who's to say you are a student and
who's to say they're here to teach.
Who's to say the problems are meant to solve,
who's to say who's incomplete.
I saw you just the other night,
sipping stories about your past,
you had this look upon your tired face
that made we wish the bad times last.
I tasted all your memories
the way they brewed beneath your tongue
and by the time I wanted out of there
there was too far for me to run.
So we shared a pint of sorrow
and talked about last June
and dreamt of what life could be like,
if I wasn't always leaving you.

Cake - Mexico

2011-10-12T11:12:00.000-07:00

my days advice

2011-10-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

You can remember the way it feels without going there to feel that way. Find a way to channel the creative and destructive energy without actually destroying anything in your real life. Tangible yet imagined is what were going for. Tangible yet Imagined.

sun gods

2011-10-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

He had come from a place where the suns took turns shinning. A place where later was the ever present now and very little was expected of a half hour. She had spent time in his universe, praying to those suns, worshiping their gods, and come home to find herself changed. Traveling across time and space gives you these undeniable gaps in your identity offering and sometimes forcing you to change even when don't you want to, especially when you don't think you need to. He came back to remind her of things she didn't want reminding of and it left a bad a sweet taste in the back of her throat that crept up through her mind. She wanted it gone. She lit her torches and ran him out of her town, denied her praise to his worlds and burned the memory of his sun gods to the ground. When it was all said and done she combed her hair and pretended like nothing ever happened.

Old Crow Medicine Show

2011-10-10T11:41:00.000-07:00

The Dream.

crossed

2011-10-06T09:29:00.000-07:00

Seeing you makes the bottom drop out of my thought process. It leaves the contents of my conversation strew across the unswept floor. I'm left standing there piecing together things that were never even meant to be in pieces. Wondering where and why things went wrong. The flux of October brought with it the rain and a chill that only reminded me how the world fails to change here. A part of me wants to pick up, take up somewhere new and forget this ever happened. Pretend like pretending is an answer or even an option. Somewhere in the channels of passing from here to there or then till now we found a sliver of time for us. Existing between two strange and stranger realities in a safe space lit of corridors and inconsequential views. When I check back in to wherever I am when you cross me it takes a few moments to register what happened, but realizing that all the important parts of life are still intact, I find it safe to keep going.

three

2011-10-05T23:22:00.000-07:00

My Sisters and I.

Photo taken by Ryan Donahue at Salt Creek October First 2011, for the love and wedding of Mike and Lindsay Brophy.

the vitals

2011-10-05T23:12:00.000-07:00

"I have something to protect," said the sky to the sea.
They had been talking for sometime on the nature of whose space were more vital, more lovely, just more. It was the kind of conversation that could last days, a conversation that carried far over time as a distant friend. In the crossing of paths they would address the issue. In the space between the two was everything else.

Dear October

2011-10-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

surreder

2011-10-03T23:58:00.000-07:00

He said, "I'm no good with this." But it wasn't something to get good at. It was something to get on with, something to let go of. Finding a fragile way to face the very things that make us who we are is all a part of the process. Letting things and people fall away when the time is right is an inevitable part of growth. To second guess our ourselves is to defeat the very reason we made such choices, forced said surrender. It takes the strength of the world to stick to yourself, even when you know you are right. Force the surrender.

head west

2011-09-29T13:05:00.000-07:00

She sat with her feet hanging over the edge and thought about how long it would take to hit the ground running. It had been nothing but broken signs and empty glasses since she left and the idea of going back was the only thing worse than going forward. Why did it seem that at this age only one piece of life could come together at a time. Only in loosing something would you gain something else and the sacrifice of breaking one meant the resolution of another. People are not for barter. Time is not for sale. And as far as she had become concerned, love wasn't a commodity they carried on this side of the Mississippi. It was why she was heading West. If it was good enough for the sun to set, it was good enough for her.

Make something.

2011-09-27T10:04:00.000-07:00

There is a fair assessment to be made of the times. There is always something to be said, even when no one wants to say it. To be that person, to have that voice, and to make that change is one of the greatest challenges we face daily. How easy to bite your tongue, to stifle those thoughts, and quiet those truths brimming on the edges of your brain. How simple to simply slide aside and be one of the masses. It is a call to greatness to do what you do. It is a call of greatness just to be you. For people like us there is no easy way, there is the only way. It must be explored, these ideas they must be ventured. Something must be left behind as a tribute to these times. Call upon yourself to be the answer. Make something.

dreamt meant

2011-09-22T11:44:00.001-07:00

If my dreams are right. Which they always are. Then I can safely say I am or I have moved from one place and am now precariously in another.

truffula trees

2011-09-21T10:58:00.000-07:00

But those trees! Those trees!

Those Truffula Trees!

All my life I'd been searching

for trees such as these.

The touch of their tufts

was much softer than silk.

And they had the sweet smell

of fresh butterfly milk.

love

2011-09-21T10:01:00.000-07:00

Photographs from the most heavenly weekend in late August in Sonoma California.
Nisan Perera and Marcelle Nicholson's wedding. Love you both.

100 trees

2011-09-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

After an accident last week in which a 50 foot Eucalyptus tree on Irvine Avenue fell out of nowhere onto a car and killed a twenty nine year old women, the trees have been deemed unsafe and are being cut down outside my house as I write this. All 104 trees along Irvine Ave are being cut down.

cleanning

2011-09-16T10:40:00.000-07:00

It's the smallest thing that derail the fastest thoughts. In the midst of all this running and changing there are glittering moments of tomorrow. She tried picking up all the everything that had been left around the apartment from neglecting her life in the last few weeks. They say your surroundings are a reflection of your inner self. She was determined to leave it shinning before the sun had set. Some things take time and other things deserve to be hung on the wall and polished for what they were, not what they are. She was trying to clean all the ghosts from the closets and the stains from the rugs but her heartbeat was dragging her down.

fell

2011-09-16T09:40:00.001-07:00

This happens many places. It doesn't happen here, but a girl can dream. Right?

unsung

2011-09-13T13:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I think of a good first line, a feeling, or a moment that must be elaborated upon it escapes me before I can get to the pen. Someone stops me to ask where the restroom is or if the linguine is spicy. In a split second I've lost the rhythm, the tone, the voice, the words all together. By the time I am done speaking it's all evaporated and I stand there for a few moments fishing in my head, trying to catch the tail end of whatever it was I had. Then when I cannot I start to wonder where they all go. Some unknown land of unsung lyrics.

see... it's science

2011-09-13T10:17:00.000-07:00

love him like science